Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
