dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
