Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize