Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As shirtless as possible
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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