I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
