I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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