just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
