I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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