but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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