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we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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