Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
