dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
