But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
