You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize