Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
