my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
