It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
