two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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