Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
nutella sex= disaster
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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