got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
