thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
