apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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