u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
