This girl is more easily done than said...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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