My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
