forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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