brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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