ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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