he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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