let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
