You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
