he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize