You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
