What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
