Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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