i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
