And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
