When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
