All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
