Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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