I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
