So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
