i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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