we have officially lost it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
