Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
