Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
