Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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