Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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