can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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