My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
