i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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