we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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