When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need to calm my uterus...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
