Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
