are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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