I accidentally had phone sex last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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