Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
