It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize