i think my mom watched the whole time
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
