I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
