I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
