You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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