GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
