I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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