Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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